Apologize?

*sigh* I know it was my fault to changing. It's hard to belief but it's life. Truly i know that you felt you lost the part of 'me' one year ago. That time, iknow may be until now that you still 'lost' that part. When i started to change my life when i decided to change everything that thing... Makes me Changing. All i need to do is taking the risk. I hope i can combine the 'me' now, the 'me' that time, the 'me' before and a lot of 'the me'. But i know i can't. I can't feel the emotion like that time. It's too... Confusing. And my reason leaving my fb is: a lot of teacher search for me. And they wanted to monitorise my activity there. I will active again later but not now. May be about a month or another week again. Idk when. It's not because i wanted to abandon you all guys.
I confuse... really.

YAY!

Good night everyone :3 may be you're a bit shocked becoz my previous post don't you? :3
well i haven't stop online to be honest XD
the thing is where am i online? :O?? that was the thing you should fine out!
But my range time online won't change at my fb. Time for 'me' already stop there. So i decided to return in a one place where me and my friend-ex-bf ozu-kun-sama XD only know :#
may be this is just a piece of a shit from me, don't worry i'll back to my fb sometimesONLY IF SOMEBODY ONE OF MY SIBLINGS HAVE A BIRTHDAY :3 ok, wanna follow ma' game?? find me out :3 'where am i' XD may be i become same as a shit with my adoption mom but i'ma kinda tired with that-suscribe :#
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-regards-

No wonder

I really am tired again with 'that world' it was full of such a lie!! I'm tired there were no place to... To reall express and confessed what i'm feeling!! But still, when i started to confess anything i spam somebody and she doesn't like it. I already ask her to unsuscribe me but she won't. Now i feel like i don't want to comeback, just a few wall i'll reply. I'm tired when my adoption-mom act like that. She doesn't like to being copied but why did she copy me? It was fine but still i feel unusual with it. I don't want to... Make it such a big problem but the thing she stole from me it really is immportant (but God is more important may be it's second) I just want to come back to the April last year and until July. I miss him ._. but he more gave attention to another... Person. I am... Not jealous but, i still fell 'weird' with it. Thats why i ... Wanna back just on something immportant. Goodbye Fb i'll miss you ;_; but i hate you.

Some people there just 'use' me as a tool. So, Michaelis my brother or Ozu my friend if one of you saw this please contact me just on twitter((i know Mike your familly such a jerk sometimes, but take care bro :')))

SO, well this is a bit goodbye eh?? Mungkin saya bakal balik kalau... Ada yang ulangtahun?? Atau godaan ol sangat besar ga sesering ini. Ja minna Sa Yo Na Ra~

-Malice-


Vakum:: Facebook
Hiatus:: Twitter
Hakced:: FF.net

"I" am "Me"

Who are you?

I am me.

Who are you?

I don't know myself.
It's all unmeaning. I can't feel anything. It's being useless if i stayed. It's unemaning. Meaningless. I hate my own exsitence. I hate my born day that i curse it (almost)everytime i remember. I being sensitive lately. I cursed everything people do to me. Altough i know it was a sin for me. I'm tired with my own life.

Why don't you just death?

I'm scared, i'm scared. I'm scared to death, i'm scared to life. I'm tired with my life, but i'm scared if i die. I haven't ready within it. Altough million times i tried to suicide.
I'm using sleeping drugs. Many time. But it was useless that i can't sleep at all!
And.. I love to feel a pain..

the way i love you and i will always love you

He, the one who fallen.

She, the one who got his care.

Me, the person who always make a hope.

But, at last… It just a reminiscence between us boys.

You with her leave me alone.

The melody is revolving inside my head, the moment we passed by…

Turned up like a film inside myself..

Do you remember when you said “the melody is for you, my special one,”

And I smiled innocently

But, I don’t know what is your reason that you leave me so.

And you choose another girl.

And you broke up with her.

And we just become a friend after all.

But I know, you still love her very much.

And that’s not me.

I can accept it.

As long I can stand beside you it’s ok.

Even I’ve never said ‘I love you’.

I do, I love you.

I promise you that I’ll stand beside you if you need me.

Altough it just make me feel more pain I don’t care.

As long you’re happy it’ll be ok

by:Malice Baskerville

Reminiscence

Here i am, in this night. Wait like always no matter how long i'll wait...
i already forgotten how to love somebody
how to fallen
how to felt the differents heartbeats.
Otherwise, i rewind that time again...
You were there when i need you, you were there always...
I've broke our promise to share...
I'm to scared to say...
But nothing tell me what must i do... Who's fault is that?
Me of course...
I miss the night when we spent it together...
Altough you've never text me anymore i still wait...
Altough you'ce changed i still saw you like the first time i know you...
When will we chat together until we felt sleepy?
When you pick me up?
When will we spend the night together like the usual things we do?
The melody is revolving in me...
The reminiscencelike bring me inside the Maze...
Will our heart still linked each other?

The things i regret most is...
Why i cant say that i love you when we still together?
You always say that, that time...
Everynight before sleep...
I miss the time when we tease each other...
May be my heart refuse this whil typing this. It just cant be honest at the time
But when you came, the teardrops wont stop even i dont know why..
All i know just...
Just...
I miss you... i wanna chat again until we felt sleepy
under the velvet moon...
keep chat until we sleepy...
until everythings ended...



-Will of Abyss-

Watashi no Hontou

Watashi wa chōdo sore o subete ukeireru hitsuyō ga aru, sore wa daijōbudesu yo. Mo, anata wa ima watashi ga kirai ka, matawa watashi wa daijōbudesu yo samuku natte kōdō kaishi. Sono anata no choisu... Shikashi, kore wa kore wa watashidesu watashi ni wa.. Kore wa watashi ni watashi wa hōhōdesu.Watashi mo kiratte naite imasendeshita. Watashi wa aki made kawaisō ni watashi ni iku nda. Kurayami no naka ni gaitō suru. Kisu wa watashi no tame ni keiyaku sa rete imasen. Idaki wa tada goraku de wa arimasen. Watashi wa, watashi no sonzai wa,-zai o okashite wa naranaidesu ka? Dakara watashi wa, ito-teki ni, anata wa watashi o nikumu koto. Nazedesu ka? Anata ga sagashi tsuzukete kudasai. Watashi wa ōku o kitai shite inaikeredomo.Watashi wa aisa retai. Nani wa subekide wa nai? Watashi wa sore wa subekide wa nai nani ga kowai? Watashi ga kanjiru koto wa, anata no tame ni machigatte iru ka? Watashi wa chōdo aisa reru ni wa,-ai o shitai. Watashi wa, saraninode, watashi no kioku no shiranai uchi, shitte itamonono, kowai.

Watashi wa, watashi jishin no sonzai nitaisuru hantai... Watashi wa kowai..

Hai, watashi ni wa anata wa hontōni tokubetsuna monodesu. Anata wa, watashi wa kanashiiga sore o sa rete inaite iru toki watashi no tame ni itsumo soko ni iru? Kizutsui? Kawari ni watashi o mamotte nda? Watashi no daisukina..

Hai. Watashi no saiai no ichi..